It is what it is…eventually, at some point in your life, you will feel bad, you will go through some low moments. This might be too harsh for your ears to handle, but it is the reality you and I and everyone around us will face sooner or later. Everybody says that it all boils down to how you look at it and it makes sense. You can get over your suffering by seeing it just as another lesson you are gifted with, or you can see it as a joke that life pulls on you with no bad intention at all. There are several scenarios you can go through with your suffering, if you choose to, of course. However, the thing that all these alternatives have in common is that, no matter how you decide to deal with your low moments, you will have to go through them.

Avoiding bad thoughts, or the effects of some bad decisions you made or some people that you just don’t want to deal with is not going to work. At least, it will not work in your best interest, better said. As much as you force your entire system to ignore the negativity, you won’t get to remove it completely from your life. No matter how big of an effort you’ll put out there just to cover up the bad, it will eventually rise and bloom when you least expect it.

The fact of the matter is that your soul cannot hold too much of it, it has its limits. Throwing those bad thoughts, for instance, in the drawers of your heart, locking them up and throwing away the key won’t work either. They will grow and grow until they will basically break out of there.

Such thoughts are similar to those nasty weeds messing with our beautiful flowers. No matter what you do, they will still show up. You could turn to all sorts of special solutions to poison them, but these won’t do your flowers any good, right? So the healthiest and safest way to deal with them is to actually confront them and pull them out with your own bare hands.

This is exactly what you should do with those low moments life offers you from time to time. You have to go through them to get over them. There is no other way, anyway you’d choose to think about it. You just have to live them and let them fade away because this is what eventually happens: they toss you and they turn you on all sides until they get bored of you.

Now, if you have enough control over yourself and you can continue living your life with this negativity’s noise on the background, then you’re more than fine! We need to understand that bad thoughts, moments when we’re not at our best represent a significant part of our experience and we should never reject them. We cannot control them, but we can control our reaction toward them. We can decide what we’re going to do with these apparently bad gifts life has offered us because such gifts are the best teachers we’ll have.

So here’s an idea: next time you feel bad and stuck in front of an event taking you by surprise, just let it happen. Challenge yourself to see how far you can go with it. Get to feel it in its fullness and cry your tears, sleep on it as much as you feel like and eventually, have a good laugh about it. We only have one life to live and no matter what we do, we’re not getting out of it alive, as many other people have pointed out. So let that bad feeling fulfill its mission within you and be wise enough to get your lessons out of it! Don’t be afraid of it and don’t reject it because you’ll make it even more powerful. You can indeed make friends with your suffering.

Why is it so difficult to leave aside that grumpy face that gives rise to the deepest wrinkles your skin can bare? It happens because you are a puppet! Yes, you are a puppet of your thoughts and of others’ opinions. You basically ignore what your heart tells you and you make your mind the queen which completely reigns over your entire kingdom. Now this would’ve been great, but the mind usually comes up with the cheekiest thoughts and if you’re not appropriately trained to manage them, they can easily throw you into the mud.

But what if you’d stop this foolishness and you’d start to admire the sky? Just stop and stare at it for a little while. It’s so beautiful and you have those two eyes to see it. Isn’t this something to be grateful for? Just think of all those people deprived of witnessing nature’s beauty and cursed to live in darkness. Be happy with those two eyes you have that serve you so many astonishing views from mother nature!

It’s hard to be happy sometimes because you forget to open your eyes and let them do what they do best: see the beautiful things around you. We are, indeed, surrounded by beauty and even when we’re too focused on what’s not working in our lives, it is still there, waiting to be admired by us. In fact, this is what beauty wants and needs: to be admired.

We’re bombarded from every side with the phrase: “Happiness is in the little things”. Nothing more true than that, but how do you actually get to see and feel that happiness existing in the little things? Well, just stop looking for it. The fact of the matter is that the more you struggle to find it, the smaller are the chances that you’ll actually achieve it.

It’s that path toward happiness that actually gives rise to good feelings and contentment. It’s those bumps in the road that can teach us the greatest lessons and once we get over them, the satisfaction filling our heart is priceless.

There may be several doors to go through until you arrive at your destination, which is happiness. This is what we all want, right? To be happy and content with our lives. Well, each of us will have a certain road to take and this is exactly what we should be focusing on. The solutions we’ll figure out on the road, the more we’ll get to know ourselves in all types of situations, either positive or negative and all types of behaviors we’ll get to witness, not only coming from us, but also from people around us…all these should comprise a unique blend of happiness, contentment and satisfaction that we get to experience variety in our lives.

So we have everything we need to be happy exactly under our nose. However, why is it so hard to be happy?

You know those words that keep popping in your head? It's that self-talk that you keep giving to yourself and, most of the time, you don't even acknowledge the immense impact it has on yourself. Every single word you tell yourself will, in some way or another, guide you towards feeling something, towards behaving in a certain way and you won't even notice it because it's all happening at a subconscious level.

The same is valid for every content that you let inside, like a movie or a book or a talk with somebody. Everything that you invite within will impact you and the sooner you understand this, the sooner you'll be able to properly build your life.

Self talk should be something you serve on a daily basis and you should go for the high quality one. Talk the good and positive talk, so that you can walk the right walk! If you make a mistake, don't beat yourself too much for it. Instead, you could say "Good for you! Another lesson to be learned!" This should be the attitude you have in every low moment because it is the only way that will help you get over it. Staying too much in the pool of guilt and regret will make you soak so much that you'll become heavier and heavier and moving forward will become extremely challenging.

So why don't you give this a try? For one whole week, surround yourself only with good, positive content. Also, if during that week, you'll go through a stressful situation, just bear with that initial feeling of anxiety, of frustration, but don't linger too much on it. This means that you should not switch it on all sides and overthink it because this is how you'll give it enough energy and power to keep messing with your head. Keep telling yourself that it will pass, that it is just a phase and later on you'll just laugh when remembering about it. Just try this for one whole week and see the effects.




Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash

Do you ever feel stuck? Do you ever feel like life weighs a ton and you have to carry it on your back all by yourself? This usually happens when the way you think and see the world no longer identifies with the times you're living in. Maybe you should consider deprogramming yourself from the way you were taught that life should be lived.

Since we are little kids, absorbing everything we see around us like sponges, in front of our eyes there is this movie we are, in some way or another, forced to watch. We cannot leave if we don't like it, but we have to watch it and what is even more frustrating is that we have to behave and think exactly as this movie shows us.

The main actors in this movie are our parents. They are the ones who, with the mental and material means they have at their disposal, teach us about life, after they too have been taught by their own parents to behave in a certain way. So humans teach humans and the whole process is not even close to perfection because perfect is only the creation of the mind. So, you should take into account the fact that maybe the way you've been taught to see the world might not be fit for what your soul truly needs.

We come into this world THROUGH our parents and they are a sort of filter which we have to go through in order to step into this world. In the whole process of going through this filter, there are high chances that we'll take with us some traits which are that genetic inheritance. 

But we can change the programming and we have to do it if we feel that we can no longer cope with life. There are chances that what you've been taught will not help you have a good experience in this life. You have to build that life that makes you feel content and you have all the skills to do it. You just have to do...








Photo by Michael Heuser on Unsplash

A letter to myself...

Dear Anca Gabriela,

I'm writing these lines just to let you know that I forgive you. I forgive you for all those years where you forgot about yourself and you've listened to what others had to say. You don't have to beat yourself up no more because I forgive you.

I forgive you for all those weak moments when you've acted under the authority of destructive feelings, such as jealousy or envy. You have a good soul, an unique one which has the sole purpose of not bothering others. This is exactly why, many times, you forgot about yourself just so that you don't get to bother other people. You've always stopped yourself each time you felt like you're better, more advanced than others, so that they don't feel inferior to you. I forgive you for all this time where you've covered yourself just so that you don't get to be seen in your whole splendor. 

I forgive you for all the situations where you've lost control with your loved one. You love him immensely, but he will never get to provide you with the happiness you want if you don't give it to yourself, first of all. I forgive you and I advise you to keep moving forward in this wonderful relationship, with ups and downs.

I forgive you for all the moments when you've lost it and you've blamed your parents for your misfortune. Only YOU can change your life, as your parents have nothing to do with this. They've done their best with all they knew back then. Have respect for them and love them just for who they are! You came into this world through them and you can create a different life!

I hope you'll have the power to keep on pushing yourself in order to continue this path of self-improvement that you've started. Don't give it up and do not let anything or anybody to stop you. You have within you an unthinkable power and your potential is limitless. Respect your being and keep on training your control until it will become your best friend. 

Never worry about those low days. They are the best lessons you'll get, so take full advantage of them, so that they don't take advantage of you and don't let them stop you from believing that you can, that you are worthy!

Anca-Gabriela, YOU are an amazing human being who will get to accomplish many wonderful things throughout this life! The best advice I can give you is to never stop! Have faith in whatever it is that your heart tells you and don't allow anything or anybody to disturb you!

I love you and I have faith in you!

Are you really going to keep on suffering? Are you really going to keep on living outside of yourself? Because this is exactly what happens when we torture our soul with frustration and anger: we forget about ourselves and we surrender to whatever external aspect caused such negative feelings in the first place. Once we take a deep breath in and we become aware of our being, feeling grateful for the simple fact of being alive, all the negativity starts to dissipate. 

In fact, one cannot feel angry and grateful at the same time, right? Just fill yourself with all the gratitude your heart can feel because you are alive, you can breath and so, you can make something of this life. Yes, it's pretty bad to go through low moments, but just go through them and move on. If such hard times don't imply the loss of a loved one or an accident or a fatal disease, and you're just down due to something that somebody did to you or simply commented on you, you should shake yourself a little and acknowledge that these are just little bumps on your road towards greatness.

If you have a roof over your head and you have as much water at your disposal as possible, then you are fine! Think  about what your life would've been like if you had to sleep in the cold and be at the mercy of other people...not a pretty picture, right?

Always be grateful for everything you have and leave aside the small things, like a bad comment someone made about you or that you didn't find the shirt you wanted. Find your happiness in what truly nurtures your soul, like quality time spent with your loved ones, a walk in the park with your dog. But hey! If a good, quality shirt is something you're passionate about, go for it, but only if it really makes your heart vibrate in a good frequency.

Try to really acknowledge the place you're in in your life and ask yourself if it's really that bad. But be truthful! Is it really worth it to loose yourself for whatever it is that you're feeling down? You be the judge...but be an honest one! 






Photo by Kal Loftus on Unsplash